If you assume ET doesn't want to give its position away, (which is a perfectly reasonable assumption!) you must also assume they are also clever enough to have taken steps to disguise any evidence of their activity that might be detectable over interstellar distances. I doubt we could find an ETI who was deliberately trying to keep a low profile.

It's only those who want to advertise their presence, or who don't care one way or the other, who are potential SETI targets.

The very fact we are listening at all automatically means we are targeting only those who don't mind being found. Which means they are going way out of their way to make themselves obvious.

That's why I have always championed microwaves. They may communicate with tachyons or neutrinos, but they know astronomers will be mapping the sky's microwaves, as they do if they are astronomers.

Also, a microwave beacon can be easily devised which is obviously artificial, yet easily detectable by any receiver of natural microwave radiation. They will be listening for ours, and if they want to make their presence known, they will be calling out.