To wake up each morning knowing this atrocity will be your legacy... to know you have ownership of this colossal fuck-up? Even worse- to know, as sure as the sun rises, that today will bring another atrocity that will add to your bill? Another tragic embarrassment that will forever be linked to your name?

How do you look at yourself in the mirror? How do you meet your grandchildren's eyes, when you know that the most precious gift you could have given them would have been to have swallowed the contents of both barrels of your shotgun 4 years ago?

Now its too late to atone- the die is cast, and really you are too cowardly to take the cowards way out- so you will have to watch this slow-motion atrocity unfold with the rest of us- day after day of increasingly pointless stupid cruelty... the lives of your neighbors casually destroyed...

You were giddy when the people being abused and hurt were on the margins of society- but now you feel unease as you see it creeping closer to your doorstep- You still cheer it on, of course- because its too late to turn back now- but you feel the icy knot in your stomach as you cheer- because you are starting to suspect that you will also be consumed by the monsters you helped unleash- and you realize that those people that you stood with at the MAGA rallies won't do a damn thing to help you- they will keep mindlessly cheering as your life is ripped to shreds.

You giggled as you called yourself "one of the deplorable" - But now its starting to sink in... you find yourself supporting things that would have horrified and repulsed you 4 long years ago. You are- by your own measure, deplorable. Do you ever let yourself ponder how low into the muck you have let yourself sink?

Remember how Trump loved to ask the crowds "What do you have to lose?" - do you understand now that it wasn't an idle rhetorical question?

Perhaps you console yourself by telling yourself that with all you have willingly offered up that there is nothing more for you to lose? You have no idea just how wrong you are.