Catholic holy day. When the Magi showed up at Christ’s recent birth and they said “hey, look, it’s the messiah,” or something like that. Also used as a description of the “ah ha” moment of realization.

I hope there are more like you Rob, who experienced an epiphany on that sad day. Because that’s the only thing that breaks the spell. We can warn about a hot stove ’till we are blue in the face but the burned hand teaches best.

If you’ve been burned by a narcissist you never forget. And sadly, you can become a bit jumpy about them. Cautious. Cynical even. You learn to listen to others’ warnings even if you don’t see it yourself. And tire of screaming into the void.

It’s hard when you see someone is a dangerous person and you can’t get others to see it. I know this from personal experience. Years later, they get burned and are shocked (despite the warnings) and embarrassed (because of the warnings.) We tend to tolerate narcissist’s behavior because we must, a family member perhaps, or because we are getting something out of it: friendship, community, an association with a charismatic personality and their network. But it often comes to an unpleasant, bitter end.

I admire you posting this here. Bravo. Good luck with telling your friends about the hot stove.