Current Events — HabitableZone

Current Events » in reply to J: I want to talk to your manager...

It seems like a really dick move by the son of god...

Presumably he was familiar with the seasonality of figs, because he grew up in fig country, and because- well- he was all-knowing son of god...

Its like if someone tells me the vending machine is out of Cheez-its™, and I go over and put money in and hit the Cheez-its™ button, then act all upset and surprised when I get no Cheez-its™ and I set fire to the vending machine- saying "If I can't have Cheez-its™ then no one is getting Cheez-its™ from this particular machine ever again!!" and then storm off to really fuck up Benny Hinn's offices...

Dude, its just Cheez-its™, take a chill pill!

I mean, sure- I guess I could do all that, but at some point my disciples are gonna sit me down and tell me to cut down on my coffee intake...

and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts.


Imagine, some poor dude just trying to get a Goliath action figure for his kid for for christmas- the special edition action figure with separate javelin and armor, he beat the crowds and got the last one and he's on his way out the door when some wild-eyed fig feuding lunatic violently stops him from leaving, so he has to turn around and trudge through the temple to find another exit, finally he gets to the exit between the Panda Express, and Payless sandals and realizes that its on the other side of the mall from where he parked his chariot.

And its only when he finally gets back to his chariot that he remembers he forgot to pick up the frankincense his wife asked him to get.

Jesus, what a pain in the ass!

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