Okay. Heh.

So this one time last year, when we all lived in the dorms, my friend Will comes in after a party positively reeking of cheap frat beer and wearing a milk crate on his head. God only knows where he got it. Obviously this is the most hilarious thing in the world. He then proceeds to explain how this makes him "box-head", hilariosity second only to the actual wearing of the crate. His girlfriend (and my roommate) Stephannie, in her typical exasperated manner, tells him he should stop talking and go to bed. I decide that my boyfriend Tim's room is a much better place to be at this point.

I go in and tell Tim what our favorite lush is up to, so we hang out and play video games until the noise dies down in the lounge. It's a nice time to go to bed by then, so we walk over to Steph's and my room. At the door, we can hear Will and Steph talking...well, he's groaning and slurring something out and she's making tart remarks about it. No worries about walking in on shenanigans here!

Tim and I step inside. He closes the door as I turn to look for something on my side of the room, and in this moment we hear Will mutter something urgently and Stephannie reply in an order that turns into a squeal, "No! No Will! No I don'tthinkTHAT'SAGOODIDEEAAA!"

I turn back around as I hear someone rush by and catch sight of Will's back scurrying into the suite bathroom...more of his back, in fact, than I am accustomed to seeing. Stephannie is balled up on the floor, torn between laughing and crying, and Tim...poor Tim is standing stock-still, hand frozen on the doorknob, mouth agape, and looking like he wished very much for someone to come and boil his eyeballs for sanitary reasons. Now there's a victim for you. If it hadn't been for those darn ads...! This is why I think hard liquor is better.

In beer-free evenings, it's hardly possible to stand up under your own power, let alone riot, or participate in, ah..."Co-ed Naked Hurling". Unless you consider a riot to be a bunch of people falling over each other to tell each other what greaaaat guyyysszzh their friends are before [bodily function]ing all over someone's shoes. Well. That is pretty funny. And then a nice bottle o' JD is gentler on your memory in the morning. ( ;

My life is ridiculous,
Beth