1. If it's not broken...you haven't had an engineering student look at it yet.

2. It never rains, but...the streets still get wet after all the bars close.

3. Better late...unless that's what's in front of your name in the newspaper.

4. It's not over until...flies actually start landing on his eyeballs.

5. It's not over until...what, I got to come up with two for that one? Forget it. It's over.

6. Whether you think that you can or that you can't...at least you know that there is no "try." Yoda said so.

7. The bigger they are...the worse her back probably hurts.

8. If it wasn't for bad luck...I'd have come up with a better line than this.

9. Never mix business...with personal deductions.

10. Can't live with them...can't whack them over the head with a shovel and bury them in the geranium bed.

11. Life is like a bowl...of cereal, that you really want to eat before it gets soggy. Then the goddam phone rings.

12. Go ahead, punk...I'll meet you out front in five minutes. Better make it ten--I don't know where the back door is.

13. See no evil...and the cotton crop is probably in pretty good shape.

14. That which does not kill me...backs up to run over me again.

15. To be or not to be...what WAS that apartment number again?

16. Four score and...the rest go home from the bar alone.

17. Don't count your chickens...you already know they outnumber you. And they're whispering to each other.

18. Jack and Jill went up the hill...good thing I coughed up for the telephoto lens.

19. I think, therefore...therefore....therefore....okay, so maybe I don't think.

20. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition...when mixed with beer.