E.P. wrote:

Take a body in space, in a field of debris from the formation of its solar system. If the shape of that body changes, as in the formation of a large volcano, it will now intersect debris which formerly missed it.

Do you really believe this, EP, or was your brain switched off when you wrote it?

The gravity of a planet bends passing trajectories so much that even Olympus Mons does as little for the capture profile as having a pimple on your face will change the outcome of you stepping in front of a speeding bus.

Perhaps you could try some scientific experiments with the null hypothesis being that the bus will miss you if you have no zits? :-)

For the record, the nonsense you wrote about oblique impacts is equally wrong, but less amusing to poke at.