Re: I mean seriously
There are all kinds of *less* serious, but still tried-and-true, methods of flushing your life down the toilet. You don't have to try to build bombs. Really, it isn't necessary, if that is your goal.
On the other hand if its just book-work, try a university library. Knowledge is not illegal. For example we all know what plutonium does, but we don't try to obtain the stuff, right?