"As anyone familiar with the space industry would immediately see, these numbers wouldn't come within a parsec of being profitable using any existing space launch systems or existing orbital space facilities."

Hmm, I would say there are within a parsec.
The Soyuz would work as the launcher. The problem would be buying it.
If not the Soyuz, then maybe a Chinese booster- again the problem is buying it. If this can't be done. Next choice would be Sea Launch's Zenit.
Again problem would be buying it. For instance say you could buy a unmodified Zenit at say 10% more than the cost that Sea Launch buys them at, and part of this agreement would be to pay 1/2 million to launch the rocket from their oil platform. That leave you the part of modifying the rocket, getting it to platform, tracking it, etc. Part of agreement is that the rocket wouldn't be going to GEO. And say part of agreement would be to have say 20 launches a year. And say you would have 4 passengers per launch- 80 per year.
Or perhaps more likely is to work the other way- build a hotel in orbit. Buy the hotel from Boeing, conditional on using Zenit. Or go to Russia buy hotel, conditional on them selling soyuz (don't launch Soyuz from Russia they are paying +100 million per year to use the spaceport and it's a lousy location for a spaceport) Or go to China, etc.
Probably help not being an American- be Canadian, Brit, or Frenchman; wait, best would be Indian (a person from India, not American Indian).