From the Onion via Charles Murtaugh's blog via Alan Boyle's blog at MSNBC (some of us remember the Space News BBS there....)

[blockquote]"Mean Scientists Dash Hopes Of Life On Mars":
A team of cold-hearted, killjoy scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory callously announced Monday that the likelihood of complex life on Mars is "extraordinarily low," dashing the hopes of the public just like that. . .

The scientists' misanthropic announcement was made at an 11 a.m. press conference, which many in attendance thought was going to be about something exciting, such as the discovery of fossilized organisms on Mars or maybe even Martian cities, complete with Martian ranch houses, Martian hamburgers, and Martian sewer systems. Instead, the crotchety scientists cynically announced that radiation levels on the Red Planet's surface are too high to make possible the survival of living organisms.

[/blockquote]

Oh, and worms survived the Columbia crash:

[blockquote]

Live worms found in shuttle debris

Worms were part of science experiment aboard Columbia

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla., April 29 — Hundreds of worms being used in a science experiment aboard the space shuttle Columbia have been found alive in the wreckage, NASA said Wednesday. The worms, known as C. elegans, were found in debris recovered in Texas several weeks ago.[/blockquote]