I was in the corporate board room just yesterday and we came to the decision that we needed to influence a few politicians to start a war in a country that shall ramain nameless...

Marketing was against the idea but the statisticians, actuaries, and accountants all seemed to think that it would be great for our bottom line.

We were hoping to get the war launched before Christmas, but then someone in production, who was really thinking outside the box I might add, said that if the war starts before Christmas, then the politicians will attempt to end it before Christmas, cause nobody wants troops in the field during Christmas, and logic would therefore require us to shoot for a start date after Christmas so that there is a greater chance that the war would be a long and protracted one costing a great deal in men and material thereby making us a fortune.

So when the shooting starts, you have my company to thank, and please remember us every time your toilet backs up.

Scott Evil
Vice President
Investor Relations
Acme Plunger Company LLC
A division of Warmonger Conspiracy Worldwide, Inc.