I particularly like no's 2, 4, 10!, 13, 14 and 15

1; Real Men Don't Waste Their Hormones Growing Hair

2; Upon the Advice of My Attorney, My Shirt Bears No Message at This Time

3; NyQuil -The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine

4; Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

5; You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME

6; Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now

7; It's lonely at the top, but you eat better

8; Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

9; EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later

10; Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a Native American!

11; Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

12; A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

13; A picture may be worth a thousand words but it also uses up a thousand times more computer memory.

14; Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

15; FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software.

16; A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

17; STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

18; MOOSEHEAD: A great beer--and a new experience for a moose.