AP; Top News, August 31, 2003, Washington DC.

A frame by frame analysis has shown that “the Barney Incident” was a veiled but clearly intentional assault on the animal. In the photo, notice how as President Bush is reaching down, an arm is poised to brutalize the mutt with a solid left cross. Yet, as that breed is notoriously violent and aggressive towards children in particular, it may be that President Bush was defending one of the youngsters from a fate worse than tax time.

This brings us to a very important question, why does Mr. Bush feel it necessary to have such a dangerous animal as a pet? It has been suggested in some circles that it (Barney) is a security device selectively bred for protection of the presidential office. There were similar suspicions regarding ‘Checkers’, but as the classified documents have yet to be released, it remains a purely speculative topic.

A source speaking on condition on anonymity revealed that while most think the dog is named after Barney Rubble, of Flintstones fame, the brute is actually named for the Purple Dinosaur.