Oh, I'm sure the reporter tried. He really did. Heck, he probably ruptured something trying to write something positive about Iraq.

But, the negativity just...leaks out. Boldface is mine.

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - U.S. soldiers sought to put "offense" and "defense" to good use in Iraq on Saturday when they introduced Iraqi orphans to the game of American football.

Colonel Ted Cox, a 55-year-old reserve officer who helped organize the event, said it was part of a U.S. effort to win elusive popular support after the war.

70 percent is elusive? Never mind.

"These are our future leaders and we want to show that the United States is their strong ally," said Cox, a senior adviser to Iraq's Justice Ministry and a Vietnam War veteran from Shreveport in Louisiana.

"Basically, we want to show them that freedom is great."

None of the boys asked to play was orphaned as a result of the U.S.-led invasion in which an unknown number of Iraqi civilians were killed.

Huh? Did they pick them out specially? Hey, Kid Whose Dad We Killed, you can't play? Why is this relevant?

U.S. efforts to restore order since the end of the war have floundered and postwar guerrilla attacks in which 80 U.S. soldiers have died have left troops wary of contact with locals.

Easy, there Ian. You're getting back into that rut again. Keep trying...finish the story. We promise you can go into the washroom and yell "DIE, BUSH DIE!" into the trashcan until you feel better.

Overseen by soldiers in shorts and T-shirts, about three dozen boys aged seven to 14 donned Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints shirts and spread out over the stadium field, a rare green patch in the smog-shrouded Iraqi capital.

The boys puzzled over the unfamiliar ball which is carried and thrown, not kicked along the ground as in soccer, Iraq's national sport.

"It's a tougher game," said Mushtaq Zeki, 11.

Arguable. Soccer players don't wear body armor.

The children were shown how to hold and throw a football and kick from a tee and raced each other cradling a ball. Some tried to dribble it soccer-style or lost interest and wandered off to play or do somersaults on their own.

The orphanage's director Amira Hassan al-Sharaf said the outing was welcome and helped create closer ties, but relations would be even better if the United States fulfilled its promise to help draft a constitution and create a new government.

Yeah, I bet he said that. One last dig, and Ian is off to the washroom. Keep trying boys. You can do it.