Can you imagine W and Quayle together at press conferences? It would be the funniest thing since Martin and Lewis. I'm sure Poppy decided to plan a Mars trip because Quayle told him there were people living up there. Now Quayle could help W plan his new Mars missions, to aim for all the water and breathable air. "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)"

They could own Saturday Night Live, the other comedians could go home. W could say things and then Dan Quayle could spell them. The classic dumb and dumber, but which is which?

W waving at Stevie Wonder or "It shows `us vs. them,' and I'm on the `us' side."

Maybe they could do a skit about the national guard: "I do -- I do -- I do -- I do -- what any normal person would do at that age. You call home. You call home to mother and father and say, ``I'd like to get into the National Guard.''
-- Senator Dan Quayle, 8/19/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92). That would go well with Bush's jumping the queue and then jumping the fence.

W seems to have gotten his jobs policy from Quayle: "We lead in exporting jobs.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle committing a Freudian slip while speaking to the Chamber of Commerce of Evansville, Indiana, a city which lost 4 large companies in the last four years. He quickly changed the word `jobs' to `products'. (NY Newsday 7/26/92 - taken from The Quayle Quarterly, Summer/Winter, 1992)"

Quayle also shares W's commitment to Star Wars: "We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could not have prevailed without them in `Red Storm Rising'.
-- Senator Dan Quayle, 9/6/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92) Also reported by Newsweek, 9/88"

His views of the Gulf War: "[The U.S. victory in Gulf war was] a stirring victory for the forces of aggression.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 4/11/91 (reported in Esquire, 8/92) "

and most importantly he knows his place: "They asked me to go in front of the Reagans. I'm not used to going in front of President Reagan, so we went out behind the Bushes.
-- Vice President Dan Quayle after the swearing in ceremony on Inauguration Day, 1/20/89. No, he's not discussing his sanitary habits. (reported in the NY Daily News, 1/21/89) "