I'm one of those people with boundary issues, so all it takes is a little encouragement and I'll usually bear more personal stuff than most folks are comfortable with.

My ex did not adjust well to any changes, ever. And that was a sore point with us, from the moment we met. I adjusted to her post-op body changes, all right. We did the couples support group thing. Saw a string of councelors. Took time-outs from life to be together and quiet. Made support-friends in the ostomy community.

But I had a hard time with her incessant grieving. I started out all right, but two years later, I was losing patience and needed to get past it. I can be impatient, and unsupportive. That's my bad, and I own it completely. I don't think our marraige ended because of her illness (or my reaction to it). But surely it was involved in what went wrong with our marraige.