I think this was inspired by that preposterous Day after Tomorrow flick that opened today.

The deliciously baddest movies

great stuff…my side still hurts from laughing…

"Armageddon II: Nemesis Rising"
(Screenplay by D. Williams)
The "Harmonic Convergence" of the last century had an unseen effect. Nemesis, our sun's long-sought dark companion, has been pulled out of its orbit and is now heading for Earth. Unable to blow up a stellar object, mankind is left with one choice:
Move the planet.
Powered by the revolutionary ice fusion power source, Antarctica is burned to push the Earth out of danger. Our heroes head to Antarctica to construct the housing for the "World Engine." Can they meet the deadline? Can the earth be saved? Can Greenpeace save the penguins before their home is torched?

"ET/JC"
(Screenplay by Stuart Marcus)
In an attempt to capitalize on the recent trends in both escapist science fiction and violent religiously themed films, director-actor Mel Gibson has teamed up with Steven Spielberg. This highly implausible but entertaining space opera-cum-crucifixion drama examines the premise that Jesus and ET were one and the same person (ET was resurrected, after all). In this sequel, we first find ourselves in Calvary at the time of the Crucifixion. The body of Jesus (unconvincingly played by Ethan Hawke) is removed from the cross and placed in the tomb, where a strange transformation takes place to that lovable flexible-necked creature with the healing finger of light that we all know. ET/JC (or "EC," as he is known to his friends) is teleported to his spaceship (the Ascension) and returns to his home planet, where he continues to be troubled by thoughts of Earth and the primitively spiritual beings that live there. He convinces the authorities that he needs to return, but thanks to the relativistic problems of a runaway hyperdrive, arrives 2,010 years later. The film then explores his wandering in the woods, where he meets the Tucks and gives them Everlasting life (they also get their own movie), and the movie ends when EC comes upon a trail of Reese's Pieces leading to a shed...

"Mars Re-Attacks"
(Screenplay by John Pugliese)
The Martians have overcome their susceptibility to country music and launch another attack, only to be thwarted by the oldest remedy known to man ... vinegar and water. Since the Martians have only icecaps, the liquid combo dissolves them on contact and cleans up the residue at the same time for a fresh feeling of victory.

"Sheepsend"
(Screenplay by William Mari)
The first generation of cloned sheep, long neglected, have been prematurely aging. Unbeknownst to scientists, their brains have been swelling as well, and now they are brilliant, bitter and geriatric. They want revenge. No more cute and cuddly. These former "experiments" plot a global takeover, starting in Scotland, and will stop at nothing until all of humanity have become their slaves (they wish to harvest our hair for sheep clothes). Ironic, is it not?
Production notes: this is a live-action, TV movie. Suggested casting: Mark Wahlberg as Diabolical Lead Sheep, and Arnold Schwarzenegger as the American President.

"Sunspot: The Motion Picture Event"
(Screenplay by James Byrkit)
A huge flare-up of solar spew is predicted by scientists and confirmed by a special-effects extravaganza, all before the opening title sequence of the film. Cosmologist Naomi Watts, special adviser to the president, decides to bypass the bureaucracy of NASA and head straight to Colin Farrell's independently run "SpaceFun!" interplanetary travel company to head off the impending TEAT (Total Earth Annihilation Trip).
Their mission: a one-way journey to the middle of the sun! Physically impossible, yes. But it's worth a shot. Using a complex hybrid of particle generators, flavor crystals and photon accelerators, this hotshot team is the last hope for humanity.
Along the way, they team up with Paris Hilton, marooned on a defunct Russian space station as part of a canceled reality show. She helps them understand the true nature of friendship, and helps them learn a lesson in bravery against all odds. Needless to say, the mission is a success, and the sun is calmed with a nuclear device that incorporates ginseng and relaxation tapes.

"Terminator 4: He Won't Be Back"
(Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger
and Britney Spears;
screenplay by Jerry Kwit)
After three unsuccessful attempts to kill John Connor, the Machines finally wise up! They don't send any terminators back in time to kill Sarah, so there's no reason to send Kyle back in time and John Connor is never born. Sarah Connor becomes a women's advocate, and after a successful lawsuit against the governor of California for sexual harassment, she writes several laughable sci-fi novels which are turned into multimillion-dollar movies, before the machines launch a surprise attack and wipe out the human race in 2010.