'It is not beyond the realm of imagination for Bush to turn Jeff Foxworthy's famous "you could be a redneck if..." routine into something like the following:

"Senator Kerry seems to have some trouble figuring out if he's a liberal or not. I'd like to help him out.

Senator Kerry, if you voted for the largest tax increase in American history, you could be a liberal.

If you support more than two trillion dollars of additional federal spending, you could be a liberal.

If you consistently opposed the death penalty, even for terrorists who kill Americans overseas, you could be a liberal.

If you support race-based quotas in hiring, you could be a liberal.

If you support partial-birth abortion as a choice, but are against Americans choosing to have private Social Security accounts, against parents choosing the best schools for their kids, and against Americans freely choosing weapons to defend themselves, you could be a liberal.

If your biggest supporters are the Hollywood elite, Michael Moore, and Barbra Streisand, you could be a liberal.

If you were Michael Dukakis's lieutenant governor, you could be a liberal.

If you vote the same way as Ted Kennedy more than 90 percent of the time, you could be a liberal.

If you have the most liberal voting record of any senator last year, you could be a liberal.

If you have a more liberal voting record than Hillary Clinton, you could be a liberal.

If Al Gore's campaign manager says you're more liberal than Al Gore, you could be a liberal.

If you are all of these things, Senator Kerry, you are a liberal."
'
http://www.nationalreview.com/comment/moran200410131436.asp