From this site:

TEN THINGS GLEN BELIEVES BUT CANNOT YET PROVE

1. Albert Camus was murdered by French deconstructionist bastards for making too much sense (see above).

2. A romantic relationship and an automatic transmission will both go to Hell at approximately the same time.

3. Nobody cares about apathy.

4. Everybody always exaggerates.

5. Ye shall know the Truth, and the Truth shall keep you awake at night.

6. Correction to Nietzsche: That which does not kill me makes me smaller.

7. Carpe Diem, before Diem carpes you.

8. Circumcision proves the existence of God. It beats all of the other proofs hollow - forget all of that Ontological and Teleological stuff. Get the hell out of here with your Thomas Aquinas. The practice of circumcision is the proof that settles the question once and for all.

If you were going to invent a religion, would you start by cutting off the end of your genital apparatus? Only God would have thought of such a thing, and only an almighty God would convince people to do it. Would you do it for Elron Hubbard? Hell, no. And this, by the way, also proves that God has a great sense of humor.

I guess that one belongs on a list of things that I can prove, but I got carried away with myself.

9. Why dogs don't watch television: A television image is a two-dimensional representation of three-dimensional space, and the ability to comprehend such representation is beyond the canine brain. To a dog, television looks like a talking Jackson Pollock painting, and the dog sensibly ignores it.

10. Modern Communication, especially the Internet, will eventually force the adoption of a single human language. This language will be English, because Esperanto sucks.

If you really want to kill your day (I don't, but if I had the time it looks like it might be worth it), you can go to the site that inspired this.