Who do you have to **** to get a decent French Dip sandwich in this town?

Used to be when I'd have lunches at Tressider Union at Stanford, they had a terrific French Dip. Good meat, fresh roll, and a dip that actually contained crisp carrots, celery and onions floating around in it. You know you've got a good French Dip on your hands when you eat the dip with a spoon afterwards. Then they discontinued it.

Okay, Erik's Deli had a damn good one, too, although the dip wasn't as good. They changed their menu a couple of months ago, and the Barnbuster went out the door with the old menu.

Down to the Arby's French Dip now. Roast beef in substance, if not in actual form, but at least edible, and fair dipping sauce. Wouldn't eat it with a spoon on a bet, though.

Now THAT'S gone.

Quiznos * still makes a pretty good beef dip sandwich, but if you don't want the special sauce, cheese, etc. etc. you have to order it plain. Ever try to get something plain at a fast food place?

"Give me one of those, just plain, please."

This doesn't register at all.

"You want cheese?" she says.

"No cheese. No nothing. Just plain."

"Sauce?"

"Just the beef and bread. That's it. Nothing else. No cheese, no sauce, no nothing." You stay polite. No Jack Nicholson bit here. They're being friendly enough, and deserve friendliness in return. Just because you work at a fast food place doesn't mean you're a dummy. Some of these youngsters might run IBM someday. But sometimes you swear you can hear synapses overheating.

"Lettuce?"

"No. No thanks. No lettuce." Okay, they look at you a little weird now, and sometimes they add a bit more meat because they apparently feel like you're getting shortchanged somehow, but you get the French Dip you're looking for.

Still, I sure wish Tressider Union would bring their sandwich back.

*Quizno's has come into the sandwich business and landed hard. The local Subway now has shiny new toasting ovens. I love the free market system.