from 'The Age', Thursday 31st March 2005 (registration required after 2nd click)

Russian scientists claim a beating on the buttocks with a strong cane is the perfect way to cure everything from depression to alcoholism by releasing the body's natural "happy chemicals" known as endorphins.

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They highlighted how, in the 19th century, German doctors had achieved positive results on everything from depression to pneumonia by caning their patients.

"positive results" - as shown by 20th century history ..

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Research by other scientists has suggested endorphins can be obtained by less painful means. Foods such as chocolate or chilli peppers can also lead to enhanced secretion of endorphins. Exercise, acupuncture, massage therapy and sex can also stimulate endorphin secretion, but the Russian team say none of those methods is as effective as a good caning.

Dr Speransky, head of biological sciences at the Novosibirsk Institute of Medicine, said you could eat chocolate, exercise then have a caning. "That way you can get a maximum dose of endorphins."

hey - why not throw in a pogrom or two for good luck?