"Our Russ" and that phone - a view from down here
Of course, there is a serious side to this. If Crowe is convicted he may serve up to seven years in prison. This would make him ineligible for most jobs. If the sentence is really serious, he may have no job opportunities save for working in security at Sydney Airport - swapping tales of life in the big house with the rest of the staff.
"I've served seven years in a penitentiary," he'll finally confess to the bloke next to him, as they jointly operate the X-ray machine.
"Join the club," the other fellow will say. "Around here that's a minimum qualification."
While some blame Crowe's temper for his troubles, I believe it's a case of cultural differences with the Americans. When the incident occurred, Crowe had already been in New York for several hours. This is enough to drive most Australians to the point of frothing insanity.
For a start, we know he attended an Aussie-themed pub earlier in the night. They are called Aussie pubs, but they lack the features of a real Aussie pub. For instance, completely absent is the sweet background noise of 50 poker machines going hell for leather. Plus the impenetrable fog of cigarette smoke, mixed with the smell of beer-soaked carpet. Missing also is the innocent joie de vivre of 12 TV sets screening the Dapto dogs as a roomful of depressed punters fill out their PubTAB slips.
No wonder Crowe was feeling a little discombobulated. He yearned for home and wasn't getting it.
