re: Hilarious...
Some of it is imperfect editing. It reminds me of things I've done.
"Please place your donation in the envelope along with the name of the deceased person you want remembered." How much you want to bet that the original read "the deceased person's name" until the writer realized how clunky it sounded? Took out but didn't put back in. Oops!
But the last one? Heh. I vote for a pastor with a mischievous sense of humor and an ear for a phrase that will be remembered...