I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when others lose,
You love dirty laundry

Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don’t have to be clear
You love it when I whisper in your ear
You love dirty laundry

Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down
Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down
Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em when they’re down
Kick ’em when they’re up
Kick ’em all around

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who
Comes on at five
She can tell you ’bout the hurricane with a gleam
In her eye
It’s interesting when people die-
You love dirty laundry

Watch us film the rescue operations
Are there more dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a
Running bet
Get the survivors on the set!
You love dirty laundry

You don’t really need to find out what’s going on
You don’t really want to know just how far you're gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry

Photo ’em when they’re up
Photo ’em when they drown
Photo ’em when they’re up
Photo ’em when they drown

Rake the dough up
Rake it when they drown
Rake it when they’re stiff
Shake everybody down

Dirty little blame
Dirty little lies
You got your dirty little fingers in everybody’s pie
You love to cut Bush down to size
You love dirty laundry

You love the innuendo
So we dance and sing
When it’s said and done we haven’t told you a thing
We all know that crap is your king
You love dirty laundry!

(Apologies to Don Henley)