The densest element in the Universe is tentatively being called “Administratium.” It has no protons or electrons and therefore has the atomic number zero. It does, however, have one neutron, fifteen assistant neutrons, eighty-eight deputy neutrons, and 117 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 221. These 221 particles are held together by exchanges of even smaller particles called morons which, in turn, are surrounded by a cloud of thousands of satellite particles called peons.

Because Administratium has no electrons it is inert. Its presence can be detected by its retarding effect on every action that attempts to happen near it. For example, a reaction that would normally have completed itself in only three nanoseconds, required six days for completion when in the presence of a tiny bit of Administratium.

Administratium appears to be amazingly stable; it does not decay but undergoes continual reorganization. Consequently, some of the assistant neutrons, deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. Stranger still, Administratium’s density will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, creating new isodopes. This curious characteristic of moron promotion has led some deep thinkers to speculate that Administratium forms spontaneously whenever morons reach a certain concentration or “critical morass.”

The amount of Administratium in the Universe is forever increasing. You’ll know it when you see it!