Current Events — HabitableZone

Current Events

Another Bin Laden Tape- And ANOTHER Endorsement From the Terrorist

CNN- A new tape, purportedly by Osama bin Laden, has been broadcast by the al Jazeera network. Coming less than a week after the release of another Osama bin Laden tape, CIA analysts confirmed that it was indeed the terrorist leader's voice- but that the content leaves them puzzled. In the tape bin Laden repeats his threats of attacks on American soil and calls on his followers to "Kill all the infidel dogs occupying Iraq". Bin Laden then goes on to describe his escape fron US forces in Tora Bora- revealing, for the first time, details of that escape. This narrative continued for approximately 18 minutes, at the end of which he likens his escape to that of the Von Trapp family in the 1965 movie 'The Sound of Music'. He went on to say that 'The Sound of Music' was "A very good film" and urged his followers to watch it if they should ever feel "a little down". At this point bin Laden falls silent for a full minute, seemingly in deep reverie, he then nods to someone off camera and music starts whereupon bin Laden breaks into song. Osama bin Laden proceeded to sing the entire soundtrack of 'The Sound of Music'. Oddly enough he starts with 'The Morning Hymn and Alleluia'. and then smoothly transitions into the song 'Maria'. Analysts said that, while bin Laden's accent made the lyrics hard to understand, his singing was 'surprisingly good' and that it was obvious that bin Laden had 'spent a lot of time practicing' the songs. Analysts added that although bin Laden's rendition of 'Do Re Mi' was comical, his singing of 'Edelweiss was "really quite haunting". Analysts also said that tears could be seen running down the terrorist mastermind's cheeks as he sang 'The Lonely Goatherd' and 'Climb Every Mountain'.

This uncharacteristic behavior for the terrorist leader has left officials confused and concerned. "We dont know what, if any, meaning there is behind this latest tape" said one analyst speaking on conditions of anonymity. "We don't know if this is a hidden message to his followers, or an attempt to improve his image in the western world- we just DON'T KNOW!". The tape has prompted calls for 'The Sound of Music' to be banned, and all existing copies to be confiscated.

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