Announcement:

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United
States of America will be outsourced to India as of May 5th, 2006.

The move is being made to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary,
and also a record $521 trillion in deficit expenditures and related
overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should
Be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds,
with the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing
of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on
the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination.
Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime.

Gu rvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will be assuming
the office of President as of May 1, 2006. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position.

He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health overage or other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open.

"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer Call
Center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited
about this position. I always hoped I would be President."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while M r. Singh may not be
fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this
should not be a problem because Bush was not familiar with the issues
either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to
respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned
responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand
the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his
final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will
be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately
he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will
exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower Inc.
to help him write a resume and prepare for his up coming job transition.

According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new
position due to limited practical work experience. A greeter position
at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience shaking
hands and goofy smile.