"The Miller's Tale," with side-by-side original version and "translated into 1970's" version.

Illustrated by "Freak Brothers" artist Gilbert Shelton!

Original:

Whylom ther was dwellinge at Oxenford
A riche gnof, that gestes heeld to bord,
And of his craft he was a Carpenter.
With him ther was dwellinge a povre scoler,
Had lerned art, but al his fantasye
Was turned for to lerne astrologye,
And coude a certeyn of conclusiouns
To demen by interrogaciouns,
If that men axed him in certein houres,
Whan that men sholde have droghte or elles shoures,
Or if men axed him what sholde bifalle
Of every thing, I may nat rekene hem alle.

"Translation:"

A rich old goose in Oxford did reside
A carpenter who let rooms on the side;

And upstairs in a ten-by-twelve-foot pad
There lived an artsy type, a college grad
Who was hung up on costing horoscopes,
And people asked, because he knew the ropes,
If it would shine or shower for the hunt,
And whether they should keep the ball or punt,
Whether their luck would pick up or get worse,
And all those things you ask astrologers.

Still out there in the used book departments...