Chris Christie's lawyers have published their million-dollar, 360 page, taxpayer-financed report, completely exonerating the New Jersey governor of any wrongdoing in the Bridgegate and Hoboken storm relief scandals. Unfortunately, they were unable to interview any of the principals in the events in question: Messrs Baroni, Kelly, Samson, Sokolich, Stepani, Wildstein, or Zimmer. It appears they have all either turned state's evidence, taken the Fifth, or simply refused to respond because they were "not involved in any wrongdoing".

No, I'm not going to comment. If you have to explain a joke, it's just not funny.