Employer: Interstellar Anal Probers, Inc. (a susidiary of P'xiltez Enterprises, Supplying the empire with the best in Big Black Triangles for the past 200 years! )

Position: Xeno-sphincter researcher, 2nd class

Salary: 20,000 g'lazens per sol and up

Location: Invisible mothership in orbit around planet 'Earth'

With the recent discovery of numerous alien species many positions have opened in the sphincter business. Interstellar Anal Probers, Inc. (a subsidiary of P'xiltez Enterprises) has been the leader in rectal orifice studies for eons, and strives to ensure that the sphincter research that our Empire has come to rely on will always be first class.

The recent studies of Earth has shown that it is full of rectal orifices, in fact, the sheer number of rectal orifices on Earth is so great that we have been forced to greatly expand our division there, creating many exciting openings. Sphincter related work employs 50% of the Empires population and makes up fully 60% of our GNP, Interstellar Anal Probers, Inc. (a subsidiary of P'xiltez Enterprises) intends to remain the leader in this field.

Knowledge of Big Black Triangle piloting _required_

Desired additional qualifications: two or more centuries of orifice related experience, knowledge of bovine mutilation a plus, Ability to make complex patterns in grain fields a definite plus.

See the galaxy, meet exciting new orifices, join the team at Interstellar Anal Probers, Inc. (a subsidiary of P'xiltez Enterprises)!