No country possessing nuclear weapons has ever been invaded by another. Since every nation has the right of self-defense, then N Korea and Iran have every right to deploy a nuclear arsenal. So do Cuba and Venezuela.

And why stop there? Ownership of nukes should not just be allowed, but encouraged. Every country should be allowed to have them; in fact, should be persuaded to acquire them. The nuclear powers of the world should be allowed to sell nuclear weapons and delivery systems to whoever can afford to buy them. Besides, if they don't, they'll acquire them on the black market anyway. Passing laws against nukes has never stopped people from getting them.

And why restrict it to countries? The state is evil. Corporations are people, my friend, they have a right to bear arms, didn't SCOTUS give them First Amendment rights, why not Second as well? And let's not stop there, organizations of any kind, and individuals too, should be able to protect themselves. What gives us the right to deny Al-Quaeda and the Mexican Cartels, the Crips and Bloods, the KKK or the local survivalist skinhead militia the right of self-defense? They already are armed, anyway, so why draw the line at WMDs?

Just think, the banking industry could develop innovative means of financing these sales, so anyone, no matter how poor, could have their own thermonuclear device. It would be great for business. And there should be no rules or regulations, no controls, either. They are just the start of the slippery slope to tyranny.

War would disappear, because no one would be crazy enough to start one. Every redneck nation, every cowardly punk country, every thug state in the world could feel comforted by the ultimate manhood surrogate. Get yourself a throbbing, turgid thermonuclear pecker to make up for your lack of brains, balls, heart and soul.

Nuclear weapons have not been used in almost 70 years, and millions have died in warfare anyway. And people died in wars long before there were nukes, right?