I'm getting a bit tired of these sea ice glamourizers. The stuff isn't much good, and does a lot of damage.

In the first place, much of it is covered by generations of penguin manure, a particularly offensive substance. It is guaranteed to gag anyone who gets it mixed with their Scotch.

It is home to creatures like the walrus, an ugly and odious beast. Foul temper. It's particular brand of ugly is not counterbalanced by the cuteness of seals, as those little buggers crap all over the place, too.

And then the much adored polar bear! Have a disposition worthy of a North Korean dictator or Dick Cheney when he's drunk. Mean bastards, and they, too, live on sea ice. Maybe it's because they have to smell the penguins and seals.

Oh, the poor, glorified sea ice! Certainly good for ice-bergs, sinking the Titanic, threatening the shipping of goods from civilized countries (i.e. places without seals, penguins, walruses, and polar bears) and not much else. The ol' sea ice huggers are missing the boat, so to speak. Find something worth some sympathy, something which the world would miss. Koala bears, Twinkies, Playboy, crunchy peanut butter. Don't sweat the sea ice, vile stuff which is home to some of the worlds least likable things.