In all three cases I've run across it's been men who refer to themselves as "wives" and speak proudly of their "husbands".

"Excuse me, I have to be a good wife and get my husband's lunch ready" is what one told me. Another one, a friend really, a nurse I met at the hospice, invited me to their house and he showed off his husband's home office, husband's walk-in closet and so on. It seemed strange to me that there seemed to be a drive toward traditional roles, but there it was.

It also makes sense that some would opt to both be husbands or both be wives, again respecting traditional roles. Looks to me as if people are choosing whatever they are comfortable with.