that I am still gaining insight, and have the ability to understand and change, if I see the need.

Mom was lucid this morning which is when I really like to tap into her thought processes, because I can comprehend where she is coming from.

I have found that one reason she lives by a double standard(do as I say, not as I do)...is she is motivated by guilt only....she has never had the ability to go within herself and make things right with her own soul. This is why she enjoys ill health and her legally blind status....it allows her to not be accountable....so the 'blame' is off of her. She is incapable of accepting responsibilty for her actions....she has booked a permanent guilt trip on the airlines of life....she can not handle anymore guilt.

I have always maintained that the holy trinity is actually: Fear, Shame and guilt....and I still stand by this....THAT is why I am NOT religious...I do not EVER adhere to the fact that "I am not good enough"..