My spirits are up now that I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I only got one more chemo treatment and then hopefully I am done for good.

I am a little apprehensive of the colostomy reversal surgery. If I get a blood clot and die as a result, I am going to be very mad after going through all this. Still, I am looking forward to being rid of the colostomy.

Of course, there is the fear that I’ll be going through this all over again in a few years. But I can’t let it get to me. I just have to live one day at a time. We all have to play with the cards dealt to us.

This has been a weird journey for me. It has had its up and downs. Two treatments ago, I couldn’t get up the stairs to put my kids to bed. I collapsed halfway up the stairs and laid there weeping.

Sometimes it gets overwhelming, but I have tried to stay strong. I am a fighter, but I have learned you can’t fight chemo- its not an illness you can fight. I have to remind myself that it is the chemo drugs making me feel bad, not my body. And if they didn’t make me feel bad, they wouldn’t be doing their job. So you can’t fight it, you just have to deal with it.

Anyway, I am almost done…and I am so ready to be.