btw I don't apologise for making the complaint in the first place
Regardless of what Yeti and RL think, abusive behavior is what it is regardless of how the recipient takes it. I have long been an advocate of civil behavior here and that hasn't changed one bit. While I do sympathise with Lindy's predicament, I do so to a more limited degree because she perpetuates the behavior with her own behavior in kind.
So if I see it against another member of the community I'll likely raise objections again, because I live here too, and as Mary anne likes to point out "silence is assumed to be consent" or however she words it, much better than me.