DEMOCRATIC WAY
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN WAY
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So????

SOCIALIST WAY
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his
cow.

COMMUNIST WAY
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is
expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one buy a bull and build a herd.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. Under the new farm program, the government
pays you to shoot one, milk the other then pour the milk down
the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and
do a IPO on the second one. You force the two cows to produce
milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts that you have downsized
and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up!

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine. All is good!

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one-tenth the
size of a ordinary cow yet produce twenty times the milk. They
learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the
top of their class in cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blonde,
drink plenty of beer, give excellent quality milk and run a
hundred miles a hour. Unfortunately, they also demand thirteen
weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. While
ambling about looking for your cows you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count the cows again
and again and realize you might have five cows. You have more
vodka and learn now you have 42 cows. The mafia shows up and
takes over how ever cows there actually are.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan- which are two. You don't
milk them because you are not allowed to touch any creatures
private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the U.S.
government to find alternatives to milk production but use the
money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of
their mooing.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the one
they find best looking. Some of the people who actually like the
brown cow best accidently vote for the black one. Some vote for
both. Some vote for neither. Some can't figure how to vote at
all. A bunch of guys from out of state tell you which cow you
think is best looking.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones
with the big udders!