Our species has taken this mutant-brain thing to ridiculous extremes, so naturally we tell ourselves this smug story that it's brainpower that measures evolutionary success. But our mutant brains also tell us that evolution isn't stuck on any one technique, evolution's only about whether a species thrives and survives.

So the proverbial alien, looking at Earth with fresh and objective eyes (or whatever), would reconstruct the true evolutionary power structure: Cats, humans, dogs, other domestic animals, nature in the wild.

If you look at two species, and you see one emptying the other's litter box, who would you think is in charge? You'd rightly conclude that the cats have domesticated the humans, and slyly convinced us that doing all the heavy lifting for them is a privilege, so that they can lounge around and live the good life. For a cat, it's always summertime and the livin's easy. Now that is evolutionary success!