INTERVIEWER: "Well, Colonel. You must be highly pleased
that Great Britain will be hosting the 2012 Summer Olympics.
What do you think of the performance of the British Olympic
athletes in Beijing?"

COLONEL BLIMP: [tweaking his graying waxed moustache and adjusting his monocle;
a frown his face] "Beijing?...Beijing?...Where the bloody hell is Beijing, old boy?"

INTERVIEWER: "Oh! I forgot!...At your advanced age, you probably better remember
the name of the Chinese capital city as Peking."

COLONEL BLIMP: "Oh yes! That's quite true, chappie! I do deplore my failure
to remain up-to-date in geography...It's rawther silly of me, old boy. A touch of absentmindedness
in my old age, you understand....As for our athletes over there among the wogs,,,
I did see a bit of it on the tellie.
Smashing performance it was!
49 medals?
The best since 1908?
My grandfawther, the Earl of Everness, was a participant in those faroff games.
He made the acquaintance of Lloyd George and his royal highness, King Edward.
Grandfawther did well on the badminton court against one of those cocky Yanks, I do recall."

INTERVIEWER: "What do you deplore about these modern games?"

COLONEL BLIMP: "I do consider it bloody abominable that they have all these women
performing as tarts, dressed in shockingly revealing apparel that no self-respecting whore would dare show herself in
in my day....And to top it off, why the bloody hell does our colonial office admit so many coloured
navvies and wogs to run in our games....It's not sporting of our government, today, old chap."

INTERVIEWER: "Ahhhh...There's no colonial office in Great Britain, anymore, colonel. Also, some of your ethnic
and racial terms will be considered offensive"

COLONEL BLIMP: "Blast this new England!... I blame it all on the BBC....that socialist monopoly of theirs'!"

INTERVIEWER: "What do you think of the performance of the Australians, New Zealanders and Canadians?"

COLONEL BLIMP: "Jolly good of those colonials.... The British and her colonies are still the leaders in sport.
It's the Anglo-Saxon blood, you know...Second to none....Even the Pommies living down under have not
disgraced themselves. Rawther good of them, wouldn't you say?"

INTERVIEWER: "I think I better finish this interview before you get a flood of angry e-mails."

COLONEL BLIMP: "Oh! Rawther disappointing! I wish Mr Churchill hadn't been such a liberal in his day....
Brought us to ruin, he did, though he did deliver us from the Hun. Keep a stiff upper lip, chappie."