This is a blatant political ploy by the McCain campaign- DO YOU REPUBLICANS HAVE NO SHAME?!!!

VICE-PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES ON HOLD AFTER PALIN INJURED IN RARE PHILADELPHIA MOOSE ATTACK

PHILADELPHIA, PA - Plans for Thursday's planned vice-presidential debate were dashed this Sunday afternoon when Sarah Palin was seriously injured by a moose attack while speaking to reporters in Philidelphia.

The republican vice-presidential nominee had stopped to chat with reporters as she filled the gas tank of her stretch Humvee at a gas station in downtown Philadelphia. Palin had just finished explaining that McCain supported petroleum conservation measures because "the supply of 6,000 year old dinosaur blood can only last so long, dontcha know..." when the moose ran up and delivered a savage karate chop to her jaw as stunned reporters looked on. The attack was caught on tape and is being studied by the secret service.

The savage attack, and the bipedal moose were caught on camera. Anyone spotting this moose is urged to contact authorities.

Police artist composite sketch of the moose assailant based on witness statements. Under no circumstances should citizens attempt to apprehend the moose on their own- despite the lack of opposable thumbs the moose may be armed and dangerous.

The attack left Palin with missing teeth and a broken jaw. According to un-named McCain officials the injuries required Palin's jaw to be wired shut- making any debates impossible until after the november elections, and that Palin's advisor's intense concern and grief should in no way be mis-interpreted as extreme relief.

The moose escaped on a black Honda motorcycle, and is wanted on terrorism and assault charges as well as for violations of Pennsylvania's strict helmet laws.

A spokesman for Palin's security detail explained that the detail had no set procedure for moose attacks since Moose typically inhabit boreal and mixed deciduous forests of the Northern Hemisphere in temperate to subarctic climates, and are not typically found in Git N' Go gas stations in downtown Philadelphia.

"This is definitely a game changer, clearly Palin has radical fundamentalist moose scared- America cannot afford to let the moose win" said McCain to reporters as he was whisked away to an unspecified Moose-proof location.

An official for the Obama campaign speculated that the bipedal moose might be, in fact, a member of McCain campaign in a moose suit attempting to silence Palin before she further embarrassed the republican ticket. The McCain campaign angrily denied this allegation, and insisted that this attack was a direct result of the democratic congress cutting funding for moose interdiction. "If the liberal congress had not stood in the way of the border fence bill, this moose might have been stopped before it even entered the United States- most likely it entered from Mexico" said McCain's campaign manager, Rick Davis, adding "Tomorrow, senator McCain will introduce legislation aimed at imposing harsher fines and penalties on un-documented moose entering the country illegally, we call on Senator Obama to put politics aside and support this much needed legislation for the good of the nation."

Obama campaign spokesman Tommy Vietor responded saying "Senator Obama has always sought to protect americans from all threats foreign and domestic and will support any legislation that serves this goal. We would like to remind the public, however, that Palin's public participation in unprovoked aggression against moose has greatly inflamed the global moose community. We would also like to remind americans that MOOSE ARE NOT BIPEDAL, AND DO _NOT_ RIDE MOTORCYCLES!!! HELL, you can even see the ZIPPER!!!"

The McCain campaign dismissed the Obama campaign's statement as a sad example of the Obama campaign injecting presidental politics into the discussion of the serious moose problem and claimed it showed just how out of touch with 'small town' values and concerns the Obama campaign has become. "There is a reason why small town Americans 'cling' to their guns- and that reason is MOOSE! Don't let the moose win, vote for McCain!" said Rick Davis.

Numerous political pundits are speculating on the possibility of a post moose bump in McCain's sagging poll numbers.

The attack on Palin is the first attack on a vice presidential nominee by an ungulate since October 1976, when Walter Mondale was sodomized by a Llama while campaigning at a junior hockey game in Bangor, Maine.