Its my Tachyon router :)
I have access to all the best Technology...
Each time in the past four years that I have said "As bad as this is, it gets far worse" - and sure enough I was right- every time...HOW could I have possibly known?
Its because with a Tachyon router connected to the quantum internet I get the news from the day after tomorrow, the day before yesterday.
Oh.. And in case you were wondering, I will soon find out yesterday that its going to have been getting much worse in coming days...
That's the thing about FTL communication- it keeps you confused and tense, and your tenses confused...