Picked up a new coffeemaker at Macy's today. Got a good price (I shopped around online first), and then presented one of the "StarRewards" discount cards they send me in the mail for 20 percent off.

Clerk flipped it over and showed me the fine print:

* Excludes: Everyday Values (EDV); specials; Super Buys; bridge and designer shoes, handbags and sports wear; cosmetics; fragrances; watches; lmpulse; OvalRoom; 28Shop; allelectricsandelectronics; e-Spot; FAO Schwarz; furniture; mattresses; rugs/floor coverings; sterling flatware; All-Clad; Emporio Armani; accarat; Tommy Bahama; Dooney & Bourke; Ghurka; Henckels; Juicy Couture; Lacoste; Lalique; Lauren/Polo/Ralph Lauren' Not Your Daughter's Jeans; kate spade; St. John; Tumi; UGG Australia; Louis Vuitton; Wacoal; Waterford China, Crystal and Silver; Wusthof; William Yeoward; select licensed departments. Not valid on: previous purchases, special orders, services, gift registry kiosks, Macy's Gift Cards, macys.com, macysweddingchannel.com, payment on credit account, alcoholic beverages, bridal salons, restaurants, wine. Cannot be combined with any savings pass/coupon, extra discount or credit offer, except opening a new Macy's account. Macy's employees are not eligible. Discount will be deducted from the regular, sale or clearance price as applicable. EXTRA SAVINGS APPLIED TO REDUCED PRICES. Present savings pass at register. Valid any single day 5/14-7/5/09 with your Macy's Card.

Really.

Keep in mind that all of the above was printed on the back of something the size of a credit card.

I imagine there was some item somewhere in the store--perhaps marked with a blue light or something--to which the discount could be applied, but certainly not my electric coffeemaker. To his credit, the clerk thought it kind of stunk, too.