re: Uncharacteristic mischaracterizations.
I've already gone on record elsewhere on accusations of personal attacks on your part.
Incidentally, there are certainly conservative "buttmonkeys." The term means a person or entity that is almost nauseatingly servile and worshiping towards someone else. I usually use it in connection with uncritical adoration of politicians, and usually in reference to the media. In this context, conservative ones rarely show up. See also "buttkisser, toadie, lickspittle," and many others.