<"Well, what do you think? Joystick?"

"Oh, definitely. ...For some aps."

"Okay. Gun?"

"Gun. And keyboard."

"Well, yeah, of course keyboard."

"What about the Moon?"

"The Moon? What about it? That's where we're going."

"Yeah, that's our target -- but it keeps moving."

"No, man, look... We aim ahead of the Moon, that way it's there when we arrive."

"Well, I know that. No, no, that's not what I mean. I mean it keeps moving. ...Away."

"Away?"

"I heard the same thing, dude. We'll have to adjust for it."

"Well, how far has it moved since Apollo?"

"I dunno. A mile -- two...?"

"Hey, Dean..."

"Lunar perigee distance is approximately 192, 440 miles, and apogee is around 219, 600 miles. It's true, though, the Moon is moving further away from the Earth, but the change this migration has caused is extremely small. Moot, at best. Trust me. You get close enough, the gravity will land your craft for you."

"Good. Good."

"What are we doing about food?"

"What? Man, let's get the software down. The food can wait. Hell, we don't even have the body started, and he's ready to stock the damned pantry."

"No, hey, hey. I'm hungry, alright?"

"Oh, yeah -- the fridge. There's some baloney and mayo, bread's on the counter."

"What're you workin' on, man?"

"A gun."

"Yeah, we'll need some of those. Mike and Walter were just talking about the controls, and I thought..."

"Not that kind of gun."

"Oh...?"

"Oh."

"Well, what kind of gun is it?"

"What if we meet someone?"

"What, you mean -- up there?"

"Yeah, up there. What do we do?"

"Man, there's nobody up there..."

"What if there is?"

"There isn't"

"Oh, so you've been there?"

"No, I haven't been..."

"Then how do you know?"

"The baloney looked bad, so I used the chicken."

"You don't know, do you?"

"Don't know what?"

"People on the Moon."

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"Then answer the question."

"What's the question?"

"There is no question."

"Then there's no answer."

"Thank you."

"Thank him for what?"

"Um, yeah... For what?"

"You just answered the question."

"No, there is no answer."

"That's the answer."

"Oh. What're you working on?"

"He's working on a gun."

"A gun? He's building a gun?"

"For the people on the Moon."

"What people on the Moon?"

"That's the question."

"Dean says there are people on the Moon."

"Wild! How'd they get there?"

"I don't know, remember? Ask Dean."

"Yo, Dean..."

"The Phoenicians."

"Phoenicians? Hey, I'll need more than that."

"How'd they build the Pyramids?"

"I thought... Didn't the Egyptians do that?"

"What're you talking about?"

"The Pyramids, okay? How'd they do it? Those huge, precisely placed blocks of stone. How?"

"How?"

"That's right. How?"

"They were masons, man."

"Yeah?"

"This is why there are people on the Moon?"

"It's part of it."

"Okay. They weren't made from cut stone."

"What?"

"They weren't made from cut stone."

"They weren't?"

"Well, for Cecil B. DeMille they were, but for people who live a little closer to the real world, they weren't."

"Who?"

"He's an actor."

"Director."

"So, Einstein. You know the answer?"

"Yeah. I read. Sorta like you used to. The limestone was ground up and brought to the site of Gizha, where it was mixed like cement. The blocks were framed and poured. It took many decades because of the amount of material and the required drying time."

"Cement?!"

"Before you talk, just think about it. Masons."

"Whoa! Cement..."

"Cool."

"No Moon-men?"

"No Moon-men."

"What about Atlantis?"

"What about it? I mean other than the fact that it's a sorta nifty cartoon-movie."

"No one ever found it."

>sigh< "The ancient writings that describe Atlantis are cryptic, at best, but look at it this way. Atlantis was supposed to be the kingdom of Atlas. The name Atlas comes from Atlantis."

"Okay..."

"That's how old the legend is, Dean. Atlantis is older than the Greek gods."

"Okay."

"Taking the name and splitting it in two gives you two Aztec words -- Atl and Antis. Opposite the Pillars of Heracles, that means the other side of the globe, is a section of the Andes Mountains in Peru. Exactly opposite are the ruins of an ancient city that matches the Greek description of Atlantis."

"Now that is pretty wild."

"Yeah, wild. Can we get back to work, now?"

"Yeah. Uh, so, we're going with a joystick?"

"Several -- and guns."

"Guns?"

"Not that kind."

"Right. Pass me a Coors, will ya? And keyboard."

"There's this really neat moon-lander program on the web. Maybe we should download it so we can practice."

"Tony, our practice is going to be on a moon-lander."

"W'll, yeah. They got one on the web that we could..."

"Tony. We're going to build a real lander, and we're going to fly it."

"Huh?"

"That's right."

"Oh... Uh, shouldn't we, like, hire an astronaut to do that? Maybe a test pilot?"

"And let him go to the Moon?"

"Umm..."

"Tony does have a point. The web-based lander could get us started, and a test pilot would be helpful in working out any bugs in the physical lander -- and there will be bugs."

"Hey, you guys are starting to sound like money grows on trees, or something..."

"Well, it is a good point, Mike..."

"Look. We've only got $3 billion in grant funds to get this thing going. ...That's it."

"I know. I know. We'll be careful."

I doubt this sitcom would make it through its first season,
Dan