...his wishes: these are what the parent uses to make his point in a situation like this.

In political arguments, it is really not fair to put a child in the middle and make his fate a means of expressing an opinion. It's not right, either.

Voting with dollars is one thing; "voting" with someone else's life is another.

This does not preclude the idea of discussing it with the child and explaining the issues, providing some alternatives, and then leaving it up to him, abiding by his final decision. The big send-off into the world ought not to be the last demonstration of how a parent can control a child, but how much confidence the parent has that the child can captain the ship of his own life.