Miles Gloriosus = Leon Greene
Pseudolus = Zero Mostel

Miles: Stand aside, everyone! I take large steps!

Soldiers:
One, two, one, two . . .

Miles:
We not only fought, but we won, too!

Soldiers:
One, two, one, two . . .
Left, right, left, right . . .

Miles:
There's none of the enemy left, right?

Soldiers:
Right! Left!. . . right. . . right? Left?

Miles:
Halt!

Pseudolus:
Hail, Miles Gloriosus.
Welcome to Rome.
Your bride awaits you.

Miles:
My bride!
My bride! My bride!
I've come to claim my bride,
Come tenderly to crush her against my side!
Let haste be made,
I cannot be delayed!
There are lands to conquer,
Cities to loot,
And peoples to degrade!

Soldiers:
Look at those arms!
Look at that chest!
Look at them!

Miles:
Not to mention the rest!
Even I am impressed.
My bride! My bride!
Come, bring to me my bride!
My lust for her no longer can be denied!
Convey the news,
I have no time to lose!
There are towns to plunder,
Temples to burn
And women to abuse!

Soldiers:
Look at that foot!
Look at that heel!
Mark the magnificent muscles of steel!

Miles:
I am my ideal!
I, Miles Gloriosus,
I, slaughterer of thousands,
I, oppressor of the meek,
Subduer of the weak,
Degrader of the Greek,
Destroyer of the Turk,
Must hurry back to work!

Miles and Soldiers:
I (him), Miles Gloriosus,

Soldiers:
A man among men!

Miles and Soldiers:
I (him), paragon of virtues,

Soldiers:
With sword and with pen!

Miles:
I, in war the most admired,
In wit the most inspired,
In love the most desired,
In dress the best displayed,
I am a parade!

Soldiers:
Look at those eyes,
Cunning and keen!
Look at the size of those thighs,
Like a mighty machine!

Pseudolus:
Those are the mightiest thighs that I ever have theen!
I mean . . .

Miles:
My bride! My bride!
Inform my lucky bride:
The fabled arms of Miles are open wide!
Make haste! Make haste!
I have no time to waste!
There are shrines I should be sacking,
Ribs I should be cracking,
Eyes to gouge and booty to divide!
Bring me my bride!

“A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum” -- well worth the five bucks.

Anyway, the first to mention in writing that the Earth appeared to be spherical was the Greek Philosopher Philolaus of Tarentum (480-??? BCE). It was Eratosthenes of Cyrene (276-196 BCE) who first calculated the circumference of the spherical Earth to be approx. 25,000 miles. Not bad, considering a physical measurement comes to about 24,902.4 miles.

Dan
--also--
Miles Gloriosus: “What is she like?”
Psuedolus: “A face so fair, a heart so pure -- Sire, if you had been born a woman, you would have been she!”
Miles Gloriosus: “As magnificent as that?!”