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American Taliban Fighter is a ‘First-Class Asshole’, Psychiatrists Believe
Tuesday, December 4, 2001
By Andy Borowitz / The Borowitz Report

Experts Attempt to Explain 'Totally Jerky' Behavior of Yank Taliban Pal

When Americans learned that a U.S. citizen, John Walker, 20, was discovered in Afghanistan fighting on the side of the Taliban, many asked the same question: why?

A broad spectrum of psychologists have been wrestling with that question, and while their opinions vary slightly, they have, by and large, reached the same conclusion: John Walker is a first-class asshole.

"Many people are puzzled and saddened by Mr. Walker's behavior," said Dr. Sidney Felton, a psychologist at the University of Michigan. "As a mental health professional, however, I must say that Walker's decision to join the Taliban is completely consistent with that of a total asshole."

Dr. Felton went on to clarify his use of the term "asshole."

"He's an asshole -- big time," Dr. Felton said.
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2001 © The Borowitz Report.

Dan