Gold is less of an "investment" than a way of preserving value. Over the long term, gold is worth about the same in raw purchasing power as it has always been. I read somewhere that a good suit costs about the same in ounces of gold now as it did in the late 1800s.

The stock market is an investment, if you work it right. It is an investment in productivity, creativity, and can result in the creation of real wealth, so that stocks can increase in real value. I see stocks as a long term investment. All of mine are in IRAs, most are mutual funds, and the largest chunk right now is in a not-very-exciting S & P 500 fund. I make maybe one trade every year.

The stock market seems to jump or fall with every tiny bit of news, and it makes me wonder who the heck buys and sells their stocks on the basis of what one headline was this morning.

If you are young (to me, under 30), conservative mutual funds in an IRA are a great place to put your money. Not all of your money should go into stocks of course, no matter how conservative, but had I started investing back in the early 90s when I first had the real chance (my employer was matching IRA contributions), I would have come out of the last recession still way ahead of the game. I didn't start putting my money in funds until the stock climb had already headed up to its March 2000 peak. Even then, I was weighted way too heavily on tech funds, which are only now recovering.