"How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?"

It's called the "electoral college," Bobby, and one hopes you know what it is before you reach voting age. It's why someone who gets only 43 percent of the votes can be elected President. If you haven't heard of this yet, you might want to consider home schooling.

"Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden?"

Because he's dead, and we don't have any more room in the freezer.

"Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?"

The biggest one, responsible for over a million dead Iraqis as well as deaths in other nations, is currently cooling his heels in a military hoosegow. His rotten spawn are dead, which is probably why there's no room in the freezer.

"Why are you using the American Patriot Act to destroy civil liberties?"

"Where is Bobby?"

Total number of American citizens held under the Patriot Act after over two years: Two. Soon to be one if Padilla is released on schedule.

Number of American citizens who have actually had their civil liberties seriously infringed upon? Don't know. Haven't heard of any. Have you? I have heard thousands of people, many newspapers, pundits, and others calling Bush the worst president in history, the war the worst thing that has ever happened, and Rumsfeld a rotten bastard for infringing on their freedom of speech(?).

These jokes would be a lot funnier if they had any connection to reality whatsoever.

I'm trying to remember if the original version of this joke asked why we hadn't caught Saddam.