This took me about half an hour to find, but here's a short record of what happened, with links for anyone who is interested to go on a self-directed tour.

Tony flamed you about some intemperate, uninformed, bigoted beliefs you expressed concerning homosexuals, including the ludicrous suggestion that support of homosexual rights is equivalent to support of rights for practitioners of bestiality and incest. These beliefs are widely understood to be religious in nature, but you persisted in presenting them as if they were grounded in science. I had replied to Tony.

You, in an attempt to throw me off, asked me (in reference to a previous exchange) if I had been run off the road by any SUVs recently. It struck a nerve with me because of the recent death of my friend, which was unknown to you or anyone else here, so I told you.

Tom responded with sympathetic noises, and I thanked him. You responded with what I suppose you thought were sympathetic noises. To wit:

It's a property of energy. I know that all the folks I've known who have passed on are not truly gone. Schoolmates, teachers, relatives and good friends. Not gone and never forgotten.

Mind you, I would have appreciated it had you stopped at that point. But noooo...

Lois is probably staring in confusion at the slightly expanded periodical table of elements and saying, "Just when you aren't loking they slip in a new one...but this is too much!" There's a good chance she's teaching "out there" as well as brushing up a bit before scheduling a return.

She'd probably love showing you the extensive libraries - which have an example of every book (published AND unpublished) ever written by human minds (infinite shelf space ;-) Even the incompleted and half-finished works are all represented!

Thank you for the reading suggestions. I will check up on them on my next trip to the library.
I doubt if they will change my views to any extent, but I will be glad to absorb more points of view.

Sleep well MA,
SDAI-Tech1

Other people's grief is not an opportunity to prosthletize, nor an opportunity to practice fiction-writing skills. I'm not sure exactly which you were doing, you see, but it was either one or the other. See a fuller expression of my response, here, after I had had a little while to think about why I was so angry. You knucklehead.

Several years ago, members of my family attended a funeral for a wonderful man who had been a light of the community. He didn't lead in the political sense, but he led with his heart and motivated many fine activities in every organization to which he belonged. The church was packed with people who didn't ordinarily attend that church. The minister took advantage of the audience of newbies to launch a fire-and-brimstone oration about saving all our eternal souls.

We had attended to celebrate the life of this man, not to hear about the minister's religious ambitions for us. It's safe to say, based on remarks at the reception afterward, that very many people were offended by the minister, but everyone gritted their teeth and stayed because they were there for the man's family. If they had to listen to him to give tribute to their friend, it was a sacrifice they were willing, if not happy, to make. Even some of the church's congregation were disturbed.

The response I received here was so much in the same vein that I snapped. Religious beliefs don't bother me much. When believers use other people's pain as a grandstand to advertize and fortify their beliefs, that bothers me. When it's my pain, it makes me furious.

He has a perfect right to say whatever he wants.

Free speech also includes the right not to listen and not to respond. I have earned that right in regard to his remarks, and I intend to exercise it.

After years and years of this, he's used up his ration of charm in this little corner of the universe. Maybe he can pick up with Betsy where he left off with me. I wish her luck.

Regards--
Mary Anne

Now, regarding this remark, from the current thread:

I lamented her passing but commented something to the effect that she was not really dead and gone forever but probably aware of goings on at the library even after, comments which indeed are my own beliefs--beliefs which longtime HZ-ers should be more than familiar with. Interestingly, expressing my own beliefs was tantamount to sacrilege. So from now on I'll make a note and pretend to believe the dead are dead forever and pull out my hair when folks who don't respect others beliefs are around so that we can keep religious uniformity on the boards. Nothing is worse than having a pesky reincarnationist around!

I am happy to see that you finally admit that your beliefs are not scientific but religious in nature. Religious beliefs are subjective and beyond the grasp of science. They cannot be presented as objective truths subject to the rigors of scientific proofs. This is a step in the right direction.

It is still bad manners to use someone else's sorrow as a platform to display one's own religious beliefs, or an opportunity to sell them, because it's very painful to the person grieving. I can see now that you intended to be compassionate. The disjoint between your intent and reality is still considerable.

I am bitterly sorry to have mentioned anything remotely personal, because you made it grist for your mill. This is too bad, because one of the ways that these boards can become more human and civilized is for us all to show more of who we are personally. Whenever anyone takes a piece of what I show them about my personal life and uses it to further an agenda that I don't share, it takes me that much longer to turn off the anonymizer again.

You complained, on another board at about the same time, that I spend time writing to individuals (well, "individual", but there is more than one, fyi) who post here. This is true: they don't use what I say to make points, so I feel safer sharing more personal life events and feelings with them. I don't feel the need to watch my back all the time. You, on the other hand, share fiction, which is entirely safe, because it's fiction. I believe you are male and live in Arizona. That's about all I can confidently say about you.

As you now plead First Amendment religious tolerance as grounds for expressing your beliefs, I uphold your right to voice them, as long as you continue to identify them as religious beliefs, on a par with Limbo and Purgatory, nirvana, and Muslim Heaven with all the virgins.

Regards--
Mary Anne